Not Guilty As Charged

Dear God

फिर उसी बेवफा पे मरते हैं,फिर वही ज़िन्दगी  हमारी है 

बेखुदी बेसबब नहीं ग़ालिब, कुछ तो है जिसकी पर्देदारी है


Once again You brought me a situation which is an exact replica of the last one. The only difference being -  the person in question is far more mature and understanding than the last. yet has responded in exactly the same way as the last. Once more, someone has raised doubts on my integrity and loyalty. God. when you made me you should have put some of the 'Duniyadari' nd the 'triya charitra' everyone talks about. Last time, I got incinerated because someone decided to pay me a visit - without informing me and catching me off guard. Last time, I was accused of retaining the contact, having stayed in touch and deliberately inviting him and then feigning ignorance. The accusations, needless to say were all false. This time, I am being thrown to the dogs because of a phone call, a supposedly harmless 'How are you doing' type. Dear God, what crime have I committed if I chose to attend it in spite of the very late hour? You tell...!!!

Is is wrong to forgive someone's past mistakes? That is what I did when I agreed that though we had a failed relationship, we were great friends too. All I did was retain that friendship. The worst thing about it is, I have now lost both- my life and my relationship. Needless to say the person who caused all this trouble feigns innocence and has stayed away since then. He who deliberately set out to make my life hell now says ' Sorry, I do not want to cause trouble for you' A tad late, God. If you ask me. 

Dear God, men and women are so not equal when it comes to relationships. it is acceptable for your men to have friends in the opposite gender. Alas, not for us!!

Who said your world was fair??

Still Love you, God. Still have faith. 

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. '

The Temp File

असर उसको ज़रा नहीं होता, रंज राहत-फ़ज़ा नहीं होता

तुम हमारे किसी तरह न हुए, वरना दुनिया में क्या नहीं होता

Dear Ex

As you embarked on the journey of life with your chosen one, I braced myself for the struggle that my life had become. There were bad days and then there were worst. Good days in between...You slowly killed my dreams and with them you killed the person I once was or could be with you. I forgot what it was to be loved, cherished and desired. I forgot what it was to be wanted. For some time in my life, I lived every day as my last. You know what, I am still lost. One year has passed and I have come back to the place I was. Not that I regret being so… Deep down I feel I was meant for being alone. A person in my situation would want some understanding…which I never got.  I have been too strong for too long. People have forgotten that even the strongest of all need someone, someday.

For some time I thought I found my footing in a relationship. I was a fool! As I notice his indifference and the growing distance between us, I brace myself for another ending. I have lost my ability to retain a relationship…I feel so lost. The best thing about it is ‘I already know how to deal with this one…You prepared me for it.’  But nothing could prepare me for what happened today. As I listen to his accusations, I remind myself that I was the one who brought it upon me. As I listen to the same ‘We are great friends, I need your friendship (!), marriage destroys relationships, etc etc etc!!!! And yet in my heart I know, some day he too will meet someone he would love to take home. I am just not the one and he is too nice to admit it. Just like you, he will hide this truth from me until the end.

Loving, caring, understanding…three words which deceive me throughout my life. Every relationship which I carved ended up being a mirror image of the last one. The same words…the same undertone…the same reasons reiterated. Your job, your pet, your past, your nature….Ah I should copy and paste this list somewhere. It will be put to good use the next time…Next time!!!! I hope there is no next time. I don’t have the courage to be deceived anymore.  

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. '