Oh so now I need to check your schedule before coming to my home sweet home for your desperate face saving exercise. Why don't you tell that to your children who welcome me with open arms, arrange calls to check up on me and are constantly trying to keep in touch. Not to mention the way they command me sweetly to come visit them. The eagerness they show to meet me sounds missing in you. I am a middle child and throughout my life I have struggled to show or justify my worth. Years of being in the background, sorting my own responsibilities, indulging theirs where ever possible. As it is we hardly can talk or connect due to our busy, extremely busy schedules.
I remember my elder sibling told me once never lend money, it ruins relationships. She should have completed the sentence with never ask for the money you lend someone. Just keep sacrificing your own needs for their indulgence.
The need for rest takes a backseat when I visit. The visits are so hectic, filled with so much noise and activity that it exhausts me instead of relaxing.
Then too, I get shouted at for not doing everything correctly. Earlier it used to be slaps and kicks to my face and body. That thankfully is no longer in the picture.
Now it is just sarcastic and judgemental remarks about my face, body and life choices. The people I once shared a house with no longer know what I eat, what I like, what are my interests and hobbies or anything for that matter.
