Relationship Status – Abandoned

THE PAST:

Dear love

So many people in the world die every day, why am I not one of them? I kept all my negative thoughts at bay for so long, always fighting, always smiling. But today for a while I am drowning in self-pity. I hate myself today instead of my usual love and understanding. Once again back to square one. Relationship status – abandoned. Yet again someone has chosen to hurt me in the worst possible way. Inspite of all my strength, it breaks my heart to see him walk away from me. What happened to me, how could I be so dumb? How could I be so blind? There was nothing in it for me. Once again, I offered my all to someone without expecting anything in return. Not even the right to keep giving to him for the rest of my life. Why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I? What is it that I lack? He breaks my heart with his slights all the time and I just cannot resist accepting him again and again. There is so much joy in giving without expecting anything in return. He says ‘Will you be able to live without me?’ The answer to this is a loud and clear ‘No’. No, I cannot live without him. I cannot replace him with some random unknown person. It’s his place; he claimed it by the love he has to offer. But I cannot force him to love me the way I do. By the way, that is impossible. I cannot go anywhere and I cannot ask him to come to me. There is no place for me to go in this whole wide world. No friends, no love, no family, no relationships. No one is with me, absolutely no one. I cannot seek refuge anywhere and no one is going to offer it to me. I don’t have the right to seek someone’s friendship, someone’s love, someone’s special and undivided commitment. I was better when I was a hard nut to crack, I should have remained the same. Wanted to be more human and I totally destroyed myself in the process. Who am I trying to fool? I will never give up on this relationship. It is all I have left in the world. All that hurt me in the past is back with equal pain, same intensity. It all ended with the hopeless knowledge that the love I have in my heart for him is always going to outweigh the distance between us. Also that it will always have to be me who will close this distance and walk the last few steps. Or walk away from him. It will always be me who will support him in totality.

THE PRESENT:

So you finally dared to walk the last few steps. Finally gave me the love I sought, finally my friendship has come back. Finally I can dance with joy and let the whole world know that “You have honored the love we share.” I had complete faith in you my love, I knew you are worthy of my trust. There were days when I was scared and hopeless. But today I am filled with renewed joy and bliss. My journey to you taught me I will always find love when I seek. People will always be with us if I ask them to be. I know now that I have innumerable blessings and I don’t have a clue as to who and when takes a stand for me. I am amazed at the way we have come together. Love works in wonderful ways. To this wonderful day and all the amazing days ahead, I look forward to. The trust you place in me now means the most to me. I love you…

So come to me my love, let’s share this incredible journey.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

The Girl who has it all

THE PAST:

Dear love

‘You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Or ever will. Smart, beautiful,compatible and successful. I had you, you loved me. And what did I do with it, nothing.’

-      Courtesy, Chetan Bhagat in One Indian Girl

Was it you who said those words to me? Was it really you who said those words to me!! You are one heck of a formidable foe, I must say. I am shocked at the level you can stoop to. The things I told you about myself, the things I wanted to clear before starting this journey with you, the things I told you because you wanted to know…today you twisted them all in a macabre tale of deceit, conspiracy and questionable intentions.  My only fault is to love you unconditionally and completely. There is nothing else I have done in the years when we were together. All I thought of was to make you comfortable, set you free. Create moments of joy and love for you and let you be. Did I ever ask you about your past? Or if I did, I believed what you told me. I believed you when you said you love me. I believed you when you said we are together forever. You were the one who set the rules here. I only followed what you said. Today in return of all my devotion, false accusations are what I get. The way you see me now, is not what I am. The way you are now and the way I thought you were are totally different. But today I end this with these legendary words:

‘If you let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.’

-      Adapted from Legally Blonde

PS: I forgive you as I have always done.

Still love you baby, always have. Always will…

THE PRESENT:

I am the girl who has it all. I am so grateful and glad God for being me. I am not my past, present and future – Just me. I am strong and easily get up if I fall or stoop to the level of other people. I am absolutely clear about what I want from life and leave no stone unturned to get it. I welcome everything that comes my way with open arms, I love change and I love the way it transforms me every time. I welcome warmly all the people who chose to walk with me in my journey and I easily let go those who want to walk away. I have the ability to forgive both me and other people if we make mistake. ‘Being unconditionally in love with life’ is my only trait. Its love which makes me gets up in the morning with so much joy and pleasure. Its love which makes me do so well professionally, personally and in all walks of life. I love success and so it comes to me effortlessly and repeatedly. I love pleasure and take pleasure in the small joys of life. I can enjoy a cup of tea at home and the gourmet meal at the five star joint with equal fervor. I don’t dream of moonlit nights on the beach, I be there. I don’t dream of a knight in shining armor on a white horse, I am the knight and I drive my own horse ( Or vehicle for that matter!). I love to have new experiences in life with my own way of looking at it. The world is mesmerized by my vision and thoughts. I am purity personified. I welcome the love, light and joy which keep touching me time and again in ways unimaginable. I look up to God and feel incredibly blessed for I have it all.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

Why him…try him..

THE PAST:

There was a day when you asked ‘Why do you love me? What makes you think I am worth it? There will be someone who will love and cherish you. There will be someone who will take care of you. There will be someone who will appreciate your talent; there will be someone who will add value in your life. With the kind of money you earn, people will be dying to marry you. Money!! Really? Like really???? Allow me to digress, my dear. There are 7 billion people in the world and yet, one of them becomes your whole world. There is nothing you can do about it. There is nothing anyone in the world can do about it. It does not matter what that person does in his/her professional life. It does not matter what age, what height, what physique they have. It does not matter how big or small their family is. It really does not matter what faith they believe in, what religion they belong to. There is only one person in the world that makes your heart flip whenever you think about him/her. There is only one person in the world that makes you stand with respect every time he/she enters the room. There is only one person in the world you can do anything for, be anyone. There is only one person in the world that makes your life worth living. There is one and only one person in the world who earns your faith. There is only one person in the world that gets your complete love. There is only one person in the world who you accept unconditionally. There is only one person in the world whose name is sacred to you. For me the one person, my one and only is you. Tell me, how can there be someone else?

THE PRESENT:

Dear love

Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot to me when you notice the small little things I do. A new lamp is all I bought… Days with you are filled with so much joy, I feel like dancing all the time. I am so grateful to God and I thank Him everyday for giving you to me. Had you seen yourself through my eyes, you would have known how much you mean to me. If you could see the way I look at you, you would stop noticing the moon. If you could see the warmth in my heart for you, you would stop turning to the sun, If you could see the way my eyes shine when someone mentions you, you would stop switching on lights. If you could see the faith I have in you, you would walk blindfolded. If you could see the trust I place in you, you would jump from a building and escape unscratched.I grew up reading about love and you make me believe that all I read is true. There is a place where dreams come true, for me that place is you.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

Unbreakable

THE PAST:

There are so many voices inside my head…loud voices, soft voices, violent ones, soothing ones, loving and caring ones and vicious too!! There is a voice which says…MOVE ON!!!Move on, move on, move on, and move on. Then there is one which says ‘I love you, I always have, I always will.’ There is one which says ‘He is not worth it’. Then there is one which says ‘He is worth it, like no one else will ever be able to be.’ Then there is one which says ‘Ha I told you he was not here to stay.’ Then there is one which says ‘Wait till he moves away.’ There is one which says ‘Love, is nothing but a stupid fad.’ There is one which says ‘For all the moments I had, I am really glad.’ There is one which says ‘Find someone else.’ There is one which says ‘Stay with him instead’. There is one which says

‘Let’s run!!’ There is one which says ‘Wait till it is actually done.’ There is one which says ‘More on my plate than I can handle.’ There is one which says ‘There is always a guardian angel.’ There is an obstinate voice which says ‘Get over him already.’ There is a determined voice which says ‘No, for that I am not yet ready.’ And the softest of them all says ‘Hush you all!! He is sleeping.’  

THE PRESENT:

Dear love

Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot to me when you notice the small little things I do. A new lamp is all I bought… Days with you are filled with so much joy, I feel like dancing all the time. I am so grateful to God and I thank Him everyday for giving you to me. Had you seen yourself through my eyes, you would have known how much you mean to me. If you could see the way I look at you, you would stop noticing the moon. If you could see the warmth in my heart for you, you would stop turning to the sun, If you could see the way my eyes shine when someone mentions you, you would stop switching on lights. If you could see the faith I have in you, you would walk blindfolded. If you could see the trust I place in you, you would jump from a building and escape unscratched.I grew up reading about love and you make me believe that all I read is true. There is a place where dreams come true, for me that place is you.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

Open heart surgery

THE PAST:

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! I can’t take this anymore. This is the third night in a row when I can’t sleep at all. None of my fads are working today…soothing music-check, dim light-check, comfortable room temperature-check, 1199 deep breaths- double check, diary entries – triple check…pages and pages and pages filled with us, our love, our memories. No matter which page I open, happy or sad…my only reaction is to curl into a ball and wait for the waves of pain to pass. I marvel my ability to face the outside world with a dazzling smile. I am one heck of a tough person, in fact the toughest person I know. Well! I have to be for I dared to love someone who supposedly does not love me like I love him. I am reminded of the extremely beautiful lines in ‘If Only’ – the movie.

‘In a relationship, there is always a person who loves more, trusts more, does more – Oh God I wish it wasn’t me!!!’

Nailed it bro! Totally. So what do you do with that…My piece of advice – Do not think of what you did to drive a person away from you when all you wanted was to stay close,  some people suffer from far sightedness, some from near sightedness and your one – no sight at all. It’s not only love which is blind, hatred is equally blind. Obstinacy is equally blind, stubbornness even blinder and doubt blindest of them all.

THE PRESENT:

Dear love

Wow!  As in Wow!! As in WOW!!!! You sure know how to express yourself. You sure know how to make someone feel so special. The surprise gift you found for me today is fab. I love the charm and the bracelet too. I love the little book you tagged along. I love all the efforts you undertake to make me feel like the luckiest person on the planet. I love the way you close my laptop when it is too late in the night for me to continue working. I love the way you always remember to set the alarm- whenever we need to get up early. I love the way you try to help around in the kitchen or with the kids. I love the way you always know when I need to hear something reassuring from you. Whatever I do, your approval means the most to me. I love the way you handle our finances, I love the way you fill our day with fun and frolic. I love the way you are…I love…and I know nothing else.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

The Rebound (!) Relationship

THE PAST:

What happens when you willingly end a relationship which was not working despite your best efforts? What happens when the initial charm is lost? What happens when however hard you try, letting go becomes your only choice. Either that or a lifetime of being taken for granted. What happens when the person who promised you the moon refuses to even make a call on your special day? What happens when people judge you based on your circumstances? What happens when all they want to know is the details…when you met? How you met? Were you dating? How close…? For how long were you together? What happens when you make a difficult choice and decide you will face the consequences, no matter what? What is this ‘no matter what’!! It is the post- mortem of your relationship – both by those who were involved and those who just love to gossip without knowing anything about it. I say to every girl I know, you are being labelled every time you voice your opinion. You are being judged constantly for making your choices. People grudge your independence, your freedom, the way you think and your way of life. But please, don’t let other people decide what is best for you. Take your own decisions, make your own mistakes. Be brave…

THE PRESENT:

Dear love

No words are enough to let you know what I feel right now. I love the way you understand me. I love the way you have dismissed my past and accepted that what we have now is most important. I am incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for understanding… Your trust is my most prized possession and I am totally worthy of it. Our relationship is open, honest and true.     I love the way you say ‘Let us build our amazing future together.’ I really look forward to it. I am on Cloud 9 darling; it’s hard to stay still when I am jumping with excitement inside. And Oh!! Did I tell you I am completely floored by the way you proposed!! I have always imagined this moment, yet nothing could prepare me for it when it came.

And you were right. The world does look brighter from behind a smile. 

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

I love you…

THE PAST:

The past, the past, the past….the place where you were, the place from where you moved on. What you chose to leave behind, what you could not take along...What happens when ghosts from the past are brought in the present and haunt you all over again. What does it take to believe that there is a thing called ‘I moved on’. It takes a lot of trust to tell someone about it, yet when you do people take full advantage of it. When you trust someone implicitly and totally, please understand that your trust can be broken. Someone will use the knowledge you impart to judge you, chastise you and convict you. There comes a day when the same person who turned a sympathetic and patient hearing to you will throw your words around all over the place. There comes a day when you become afraid of trusting even your own shadow. There comes a day when you cry out loud at the unfairness of it all. There comes a day when the trust you place in some body is broken. If you ever come across such a situation in life, please understand it’s not you, it’s them.

THE PRESENT:

Dear love

Thank you for accepting me just the way I am. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for honoring the love I have in my heart for you, only you. Thank you for your unwavering faith, thank you for your unshakable trust. Thank you for taking a stand for us. Thank you for believing there is an ‘us’. Thank you for being always there for me and thank you for adding so much joy in my life. You and this relationship we share is pure bliss, pure joy. It is what I call as ‘perfection personified’. You are my own personal Sun; you are not the first, the second or the last. My love, you are the only one. The love that I have for you is unmatched to anything in the world. With such high standards, it cannot be compared to anything else for you are the only one on this whole Universe who changed me so completely. One look that says it all, one smile that lights up the whole damn place.

I want to thank you for ‘n’ number of things today but right now I just want to say

‘Thank you for existing, your presence on this earth makes my life worth living.’

I love you!!               
Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

When dreams come true...

Dear Love,

So it’s time for you to turn a page! Turn the page but you have to be the first one to do so. You will have to be the first one to walk away in this relationship. That’s because my love for you is not allowing me to. I want to keep my hope alive, I want to try till the last breath I have in me. And yet I stay away from you – for your peace of mind. Still can’t resist trying to know how you are, how you have been. If my love, my care, my affection and the things I told you…nothing can touch your heart then maybe It’s time for me to move on. It’s time for me to clear your way. It’s the least I can do. I am in a lot of pain and I am missing you like hell. This reminds me of the immortal words of Geetanjali which I read some time back:

“From now on I leave off all petty decorations. Lord of my heart, no more shall there be for me waiting and weeping in corners, no more coyness and sweetness of demeanor. Thou hast given me thy sword for adornment. No more doll’s decorations for me!”

How many more nights to go before I can sleep without crying my eyes out? How many more days before I can feel myself again, how much more time to resist the urge to pick up the phone and talk to you? Where to find the courage to delete your messages, trash your photographs, burn the diary entries, clear my table of all the sweet nothings I used to make our memories? How much more time before I can think of picking up painting again? What would it take for me to dance again, laugh again, and feel alive again? What do I do….?

I lost myself when I lost you. I lost the person I am when I am with you. I wish you come back in my life. I wish you were with me right now. I wish and I keep on wishing!!

THE PRESENT:

Date Night:

Today he came to pick me and took me for a drive again. The way he takes care of the small, little things makes me feel so special. He makes me feel so safe, so secure, cherished and protected. Today something shifted, the way he treated me today…everything felt different. I used to think us being together was a far-fetched dream. Well! That far-fetched dream came true. As we embark on this journey together, we know that we have a promising future and so many sweet memories in our wake. The best part was when he started singing so many songs for me. I love the way he is opening up and being comfortable. Thank you so much God, it is one of the best evenings of my life. Absolutely something to be cherished forever.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

We belong…

THE PAST:

Dear Love,

I know you don’t trust me today, but I trust you and your decisions completely. I know you hate me, but I feel nothing else but love for you. You say that we are two different people. My dear all the people in this world are different from each other. That is the beauty of it all; no two people can ever be the same. Yet, they stay together.

You don’t know a single thing about me and yet you stand in judgement. The one thing which you need to know is; I belong to you, only you. Even if I shared a coffee with someone, I still belong to you. Even if I had a conversation, I still belong to you. Even if I was seen talking to someone else, I still belong to you. Even if you think there is something fishy about it (by the way, there is nothing), I still belong to you. Even if you see me in all the wrong lights today, I still completely, totally and in all honesty belong to you. I don’t see anyone apart from you. I have eyes only for you. You are killing me by your words, your accusations and false allegations. I told you I have nothing to say to you, but I wanted to say – I am shattered beyond recognition. You are killing me with your words, piece by piece. Word by word…and yet my feelings stay the same. I still care for you, my love stays the same.

How can we base a relationship on lies and deceit? Why I can’t share anything and everything with you? Does that mean I will always have to be conceited?

Are you blind? You read my whole diary the other day, found nothing other than your presence. You held my hands in yours, yet can’t get hold of the feelings I have for you? My heart refuses to believe that you are one of those fleeting disloyal people, who always move on effortlessly from one relationship to the next! I need you; I need to share your happiness and your pain too. Where did you go, why did you go? Why are you so far from me?

THE PRESENT:

Today he came to my office to discuss something just as I was about to leave. The deserted office was a perfect setting for his usual bantering to continue. At the end of it, we both were laughing so hard that the issue he came to discuss was completely forgotten. Anyways, it was just an excuse cooked up to see each other. And then I returned the favor…Oh God!!! The happiness, the bliss, the joy, the excitement of it all. Lovely…

We had a free flowing conversation and it felt good, shared the same cup of coffee.

After our engagement:

We were at home celebrating our joy. Candles,streamers, decorations…the whole nine yards. I cooked for him, with so much love. I am on top of the world when I cook for him and I love the way he appreciates my cooking. I know sometimes, the taste is a little off which he never tells me. All I see is total acceptance, of me, my love, and my efforts. Love expressed in words, gestures and actions. Today I want to confess to the whole world that we belong together. Today as I hear him say ‘I love you’ I want to hear these words every single day for the rest of my life. I love it that he always finds time to talk to me, that he approaches me on his own. That whenever I am feeling not-so-ok, he always assures me that everything is fine as long as we have each other. I love that he dedicates songs to me and I love the feelings they convey. I love it that he accepts all the gifts I bring for him, big or small with equal fervour. I love it that he makes it a point to meet me whenever one of us has to go out of town. I love that he is always there to pick me for office and drops me home. I love that he confesses what he feels for me. I love that he always takes me out on amazing dates. Places do not matter, his effort does. I love the fact that he has openly accepted this relationship.  

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

Together, forever

THE PAST:

Thank you for making me feel a yearning I did not know existed within me. I don’t want to want you and yet it never subsides. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I don’t know how to forget how safe I felt with you, in your company. Our dates, our long drives, our car…The way our relationship progressed, the first day and the last…Why doesn’t it seem like the end? Why don’t I feel it’s over? Why do I still feel that you are still with me, always with me, no matter what happens? Why? Why Now?

It’s not fair the way my life has turned upside down when you left. Here I am watching a harmless comedy show on TV and suddenly I break down crying. Just because of the days when we used to watch it together. Or the way you called me up to tell me what is worth watching today. I love the sound of your laughter; I wish I could hear it again.

And the other time when you were drunk and you called me up. That was when you divulged your most well-kept secret – confessed your love for me. That day we were far yet connected to each other by blessed technology. As if I was right there with you. That day when you were about to sleep on the sofa and I reminded you not to.

Why are you doing this to us? We’re so good together, so happy, so complete.

 THE PRESENT:

MY HAPPY PLACE

My happy place underwent a radical shift once you came into my life. I am so happy that every place has become my happy place. Yesterday was another dream come true; we went for a long drive. It was filled with so much joy and bliss. The best moment was when you said and you truly meant ‘I have a lot of patience when it comes to you.’ Today when you have confessed your true feelings for me, it has become my happiest place. I am looking forward to our life together with so much excitement.

I feel lucky as we sit on the balcony of our home together with our family, talking and spending time with the most special people in the world. I am incredibly lucky that I am spending every waking day and night for the rest of my existence with you. We are really talking it out today…Happy things, sweet things, difficult things, our best moments, our dreams, our relationship, our journey so far. Our present and the great future we have together….forever. 

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

When love chooses you...

THE PAST:

When did you go so far from me, how could you go? Why? I stay away only for your happiness but still I feel you are not happy with what you chose. Why do I feel you don’t want to stay quiet, you want to talk to me! Why do I feel the emptiness in my heart is mirrored in yours? Why do I feel that us looking busy with our lives is just a cover, a sham. In reality, we want to be with each other. I never thought leaving you would leave a hole in my heart and soul. I feel hollow inside. How and when did you become my whole life instead of just a part? You don’t trust me and my faith in you is blind. So much happened, our talks, the joy, the laughter, the companionship...The memories we made with each other.  The love that we feel for each other….all this and …

One fine day we open our eyes to the fact that you are trying to walk away. And every day, I fix a plastic smile on my face; hide the tears in my eyes. I love you so much and I am falling apart by the burden of our separation. I miss you – you, my friend, my love, my soulmate, my perfect life partner. I can’t pretend anymore to manage without you. I need you, my life. I need you, my best friend, I need you. I love you, I love the person you are, I love the soul I saw, and I love the amazing persona I encountered. I love everything about you, just as you are.

THE PRESENT:

Racing with him to office and letting him lead, when he saw me ahead of him, he increased his speed. I let him lead for I want him to stay ahead of me, not here but in all walks of life. Then he suddenly turned around and I had a good look at him. Later when I went to his office for some work, I was so aware of his presence I could hardly talk to people around me. Later he started teasing me about always forgetting my bike keys in my office. I knew he was right behind me the other time, even if he thinks I did not notice. It was damn hard to control the urge to turn around and give him a big hug….just for being there and adding so much happiness in my life.

Today we had a lover’s tiff and I started crying. When I asked him to give him some time to calm down, he chose to stay with me through it and let me cry. Once I was done, I was surprised to hear the familiar horn of his bike right outside my door. He came home and said sorry so tenderly and sincerely. I have no choice but to fall head over heels in love with this person. He leaves me none. 
Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.

I will learn....

THE PAST   :

Today is the first day of my so called life, when you have decided to walk away from me. The morning does not seem like a morning but the sun is up like always. I will let you know in the evening how was my first day!! My heart is sinking by the thought of going to office, I am scared. But if I have the courage to love you unconditionally, I have equal courage to face the world with a dazzling smile for you.

  Today was the very first day of my life and today itself you came in front of me. Good I got some courage, but my pain has also increased many times over. I told you once; I will let you go, If and when you wish to leave me. But I never said I will not get mortally wounded in the process. I never told you I would not be in pain, a lot at that. I never said I will die every single moment after you go. I never said my eyes will lose their sparkle and my face will let go of all its charm. Forever!

Please don’t go, for my sake and for our family. Destiny and happiness are knocking at our door, trust me. Open the door and embrace them. Please don’t dishonor our relationship like this. When we love someone beyond all limits, we bow down for their happiness and wishes. I am doing the same. I am bowing my head with folded hands for the sake of your love, happiness and wishes.

My love and my life belong to you, take it or leave it. Your wish!

If I could have you by offering everything I have, I would gladly offer all that I have and more. Today I am surprised at myself. Me, who talks of women’s liberation, financial and social equality, rights and revolution, I want the same things in life that any common woman would wish for. A home I can call my own.

Oh the three magic words have come full circle in my life – ‘I wish…, But…, Maybe’. I wish you agree for this relationship, but accepting me is not easy, May be my mistakes are not worth forgiving.

I am not able to even stand upright right now, in my heart I know. There will come a day when the wounds will heal, I will pick up my courage and walk again. I will have faith and I will learn to trust again. I will have love and will learn to share again. I will…someday, one day.

THE PRESENT:

MY HAPPY PLACE:

Visiting each other’s office on the pretext of work, sharing looks and exchanging messages when no one is looking. Holding hands as we walk in the corridors, sharing a loving home with our family. Home where we come back every evening after the day’s work is done. His being the very first face I see every morning when I get up. He orders lots of flowers for me on my birthday. Have to be roses…Calling me on my landline at home, complimenting me on the new dress I wore, responding to all my messages and sending sweet nothings of his own, When I go out on tours, he coming to drop me to the station and always asking me when I reach. Always talking me to sleep in the night when I am away. Harmless teasing and bantering about the work I do and the way I work. At home, eating in the same plate with him always, Giving bed tea to Maa in the morning and cornflakes to him. ( PS: Replace cornflakes with something else. He saw Bruno eating cornflakes and he teased me regarding it being a ‘Kutte Ka Khana’). Always having him by my side when electricity goes off, for I am afraid of the dark.

Dreams, dreams, dreams…. They come in all sizes and when fulfilled, each one is equally special as the other.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty. 

In all likelihood, its a love story

3 years, 9 months and 27 days... what impact could it possibly have in someone's life? The story I share with you all today, may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and know as artistic liberty. 

Here's the story of a girl, a woman and her journey through life. A modern woman, a liberated, free thinking, independent human being, a beautiful person and her beautiful dreams. Her amazing friends and the one person most special in her life.The love of her life - the man of her dreams. Her perfect life partner, her true soulmate, This is the story of her triumph, hope,light and healing. The story of unwavering faith and fulfilled desires. Its her journey and she wants to take you along. 

Come and join her on this journey of love, this exploration of her self and others. 

And haan! This book is dedicated first and foremost to The Almighty, my parents, my younger brother and older sister, my extended family....You get the picture. Basically to anyone and everyone who has ever shared my life or known me.

Here it goes: 

The Past:

Dear Love,

"You are poor, but not helpless" 

You are not helpless my love, I am. All those people who are in love with someone are helpless. All those people who can do anything under the sun for someone's happiness and bliss are helpless. If you really want to see poor people, go and see a girl's father. The way they kneel, the way their eyes get lowered, the way they talk with folded hands. See those people who value their daughter's happiness more than their honour. Why do you think you would compromise if you say yes for this relationship? Or that you do not deserve me. If you accept this proposal, we will love and welcome you in our family. We will respect you and adore you. You will be the apple of everyone's eyes which you will still be...for the people you may chose over us. My parents do what they think would work for my happiness and bliss. I am incredibly lucky to have parents who think all the time for me... You are lucky too. For you have Maa who thinks so much about you, who loves you so much. 

I also love you; I want to be with you. I want to do all the big and small things for your happiness and joy.  I want to get you your bed tea and your dinner too. I want to wash your clothes, I want to dust and clean our house, I want to get groceries with you. I want to cook piping hot chapatis for you. I want to have kids with you and I want to see you playing with them. I want to listen to your special laughter. I want to watch TV with you, I want to get scolded by you, I want to wear the sarees you will bring for me, I want to shop for clothes with you, I want to observe the rituals and fasts for you. I want so many small little things in life...And yet, I want nothing more than your preference and choice. What you choose is what I want...all along. "

The Present:

My happy place: 

"His house our house, our room. We sharing a life together. His face the last thing I see before sleeping and his face the first in the morning. He breaking the barriers, opening up on all his issues. Feeling free to say or do what he really wants instead of holding back. Heart to heart conversations; unchecked emotions, freedom to be with each other. Looking at his face and into his eyes to my heart's content. Planning surprises on our families' birthdays and all other occasions. Sharing dreams and responsibilities, seeing the smiles and admiration on our families' faces. Cooking for my family every day. Healing all pains, easing all that hurts. He coming to terms with the past and letting it go for our future together. Accepting that love can enter your heart at any time in your life. Accepting that all people deserve a second chance at happiness. He coming home in the evening to find I have planned a surprise birthday party for him. 

A happily ever after, our happily ever after...."