We belong…

THE PAST:

Dear Love,

I know you don’t trust me today, but I trust you and your decisions completely. I know you hate me, but I feel nothing else but love for you. You say that we are two different people. My dear all the people in this world are different from each other. That is the beauty of it all; no two people can ever be the same. Yet, they stay together.

You don’t know a single thing about me and yet you stand in judgement. The one thing which you need to know is; I belong to you, only you. Even if I shared a coffee with someone, I still belong to you. Even if I had a conversation, I still belong to you. Even if I was seen talking to someone else, I still belong to you. Even if you think there is something fishy about it (by the way, there is nothing), I still belong to you. Even if you see me in all the wrong lights today, I still completely, totally and in all honesty belong to you. I don’t see anyone apart from you. I have eyes only for you. You are killing me by your words, your accusations and false allegations. I told you I have nothing to say to you, but I wanted to say – I am shattered beyond recognition. You are killing me with your words, piece by piece. Word by word…and yet my feelings stay the same. I still care for you, my love stays the same.

How can we base a relationship on lies and deceit? Why I can’t share anything and everything with you? Does that mean I will always have to be conceited?

Are you blind? You read my whole diary the other day, found nothing other than your presence. You held my hands in yours, yet can’t get hold of the feelings I have for you? My heart refuses to believe that you are one of those fleeting disloyal people, who always move on effortlessly from one relationship to the next! I need you; I need to share your happiness and your pain too. Where did you go, why did you go? Why are you so far from me?

THE PRESENT:

Today he came to my office to discuss something just as I was about to leave. The deserted office was a perfect setting for his usual bantering to continue. At the end of it, we both were laughing so hard that the issue he came to discuss was completely forgotten. Anyways, it was just an excuse cooked up to see each other. And then I returned the favor…Oh God!!! The happiness, the bliss, the joy, the excitement of it all. Lovely…

We had a free flowing conversation and it felt good, shared the same cup of coffee.

After our engagement:

We were at home celebrating our joy. Candles,streamers, decorations…the whole nine yards. I cooked for him, with so much love. I am on top of the world when I cook for him and I love the way he appreciates my cooking. I know sometimes, the taste is a little off which he never tells me. All I see is total acceptance, of me, my love, and my efforts. Love expressed in words, gestures and actions. Today I want to confess to the whole world that we belong together. Today as I hear him say ‘I love you’ I want to hear these words every single day for the rest of my life. I love it that he always finds time to talk to me, that he approaches me on his own. That whenever I am feeling not-so-ok, he always assures me that everything is fine as long as we have each other. I love that he dedicates songs to me and I love the feelings they convey. I love it that he accepts all the gifts I bring for him, big or small with equal fervour. I love it that he makes it a point to meet me whenever one of us has to go out of town. I love that he is always there to pick me for office and drops me home. I love that he confesses what he feels for me. I love that he always takes me out on amazing dates. Places do not matter, his effort does. I love the fact that he has openly accepted this relationship.  

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.