Agle janam mohe….

THE PAST:

‘Jo ab kiye ho Daata, aisa na kijo

Agle janam mohe bitiya na kijo’

Since the day I came to my senses, I have often wondered…was I really meant to be a woman? Did I really have to be a woman and lack feminity…Did I really just talk back to my parents like that and felt not an iota of guilt..? Did I really, deliberately refused point blank to do the household chores and chose to pursue whatever interested me at that particular moment? Did I really have a string of relationships and I am still unapologetic about all of them? Did I really travel cross country all by myself and did not ask anyone whether I could? Did I really shoulder the responsibilities at home to the best of my ability without even thinking whether I could? What would happen in future if my better half does not like it? Did I really choose to pursue a career instead of an early marriage to an apparently well settled guy? Am I really willing to forgo marital bliss? Deliberately and openly…? Was it really me who defied all social norms when I chose to wait for my perfect one instead of settling for less…

Being a girl is all about being submissive and meek. If not, you will be subjected to unending judgements. Everyone will have a say in your life and all will hold you responsible for what went wrong. Chastise you for not looking good or splurging on shallow things like expensive clothes. Everything you do is under the scanner and people are really itching to tell you what is wrong with you..Or for that matter what you should do to land a guy..From Vrats and Poojas to behaviour and conduct advice…you name it you have it.

PS : I still do not regret my choices, no matter what the world tells me.

THE PRESENT:

Dear God

Being a woman is a pretty powerful thing…

I love you for accepting me unconditionally and thank you for I was born as a woman. I love the way mom dressed me up in pretty frocks and not boring pant suits. I love that I hold the power to create…literally create a new life…a new body and a little soul. I love that I will get to share a bond so powerful, so special, so divine!!

I love that I will always have the healing touch…No matter which it is…Father, brother, sister, mother I can be anything and I can be all at once.

My presence in my close ones’ lives is irreplaceable and I feel so special. Thank You God for a beautiful body and a pretty intelligent mind.

Thank you God for I hold a power so great, it makes me bow my head to your greatness.

Thank you God for you made me so special when you brought me into the world as a she.

I would love to be born again and again as a ‘She’. Always a She…

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.