Lost and found

THE PAST:

Chaq jigar ke see lete hain, jaise bhi ho jee lete hain

Dard mile to seh lete hain, ashq mile to pee lete hain

No one dies of a broken heart…so says the world. But no one can deny that sick feeling in the pit of your tummy either! That feeling which sinks its teeth in you and makes you scream with pain or worse still lie there lifeless as it sucks the vivacity out of you. No one can deny that there are times when even getting out of bed seems like such an effort. An effort you are unwilling to take and so you lie down all day. That feeling which buries you deep and makes it difficult to even breathe!

Oh I know it well. That hanging by the thread and hope that one fine day everything will be bearable, if not now. Those times when friends and family try to convince you that you are really a very strong person and nothing can break you. The times when nothing helps…music, outings, encouraging words, your own achievements and accomplishments…all are lost in the pit of your melancholy. Those times when all your laughs ring hollow and smiles are all fake. The times when you don’t even bother with a flat “I am fine, don’t worry.”

Those uninvited tears which refuse to leave you alone. The times when nothing helps, nothing seems to work. Times when you feel your life and all there is in it is a sham.

Those times when you have to fight the demons and cannot afford to lose.

What happened in my life two months ago was one such time and I can see all my loved ones visibly relaxed now. As if it was a thorn in my feet which has been pulled out now… All that remains is the wound to heal. It’s up to me now to find a way and make it happen. Little do they know, the wound is far from healing. It’s a long way to go and all of it is uphill.

 THE PRESENT:

‘Koi kisi se khush ho aur wo bhi baraha ho Ye baat to galat hai.

Rishta Libas banke maila nahin hua ho, ye baat to galat hai.’

 My Love,’

Of all the things that happen in a relationship, sharing is the best part of it. It means the world to me when we talk to each other about everything under the sun. We argue; we disagree; we get angry with each other…then find something to laugh at. Together as we embark on this journey, there will be times when we will not see eye to eye. At such times, do remember the love we share. Let not the bitterness of any argument even remotely affect our mutual respect. Not to forget the love we share.

Baby I have been through so much and all that happened right in front of your eyes. Thus, the insecurity!

As I try to walk on the path of trust again, there will be times when I stager, fumble or hesitate. I am visibly scared and rightly so.

At times like those, please restore my faith in ourselves. Be gentle, understand, be patient and love will take over everything.

I know you have it in you.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.