Kaise kahen Alvida…

THE PAST:

What I feared the most is finally done. The ultimate move made, the decisive step taken. Life has given me a lemon I will take ages to make a lemonade from. Oh, I have all the time in the world to reflect on what went wrong. I am so happy for you…Your happiness is all I wanted. Yet there are times when I can’t breathe, when I so want to curl up into a ball and just lay there…lifeless. I walk, I talk, and I laugh as well. The world around me cannot detect the way I feel. I feel my intestines doing a funny dance all the time. I feel as if all my internal organs have become a giant iron ball and lie at the pit of my stomach. Memories, promises, dreams…I have lost my belief in them. I literally fight to retain my composure at times.

My biggest loss was the loss of my faith in myself. I used to think I was a loving and caring person. I thought I was capable of earning someone else’s love and retaining it in my life forever. I used to believe you when you said I made you feel special. Sadly you think it was all an attempt to manipulate you. Wow. I did not know manipulation goes like this. Take a look:

‘I want you to be happy. That is my only concern.’

‘You know whenever I see nice things…I just feel so grateful that I have you to share them.’

‘I will never forget how lucky I am to have you.’

‘Thank you! You made me a better person.’

Appreciation, honesty, truth, feelings…everything you considered fake was is true. I never lied to myself when I thought and believed that I love you. I still do..

THE PRESENT:

Thank you for sharing my life love. Our trip was everything I imagined and more. My sweetest dream came true. I proudly hold your hand and walk the streets as people look at us with envy. The love we share with each other is so evident in the way you hold me. I am so grateful to God for giving me the most valuable person in my life. I desire nothing else other than to fill your life with the love and appreciation so well deserved. You are the one who is worthy of all the amazing things life has to offer. You deserve to be treated in the most special way possible. The beauty of nature and the picturesque surroundings combined with the beauty of our togetherness – heady combination love. Love can make us feel so many wonderful things, immeasurable joy, unsurmountable faith and unlimited gratitude. Thank you to The Almighty God and to you – my own personal sun. For you shine in the path of my life and warm my heart. You made me what I am today – thank you for being there with me. As I embrace my destiny and head forth on my journey, I know that I have you to hold through it all.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.