….Mujhe barbad kar dijiye

THE PAST:

Dear Love

‘Zindagi uljha hua sauda hai, umren leta hai ik pal dekar.’

Mare hue ko aur kya marun?  The one who lost a life partner like me is already at a loss not only for this life but many more life times. I lost someone who never loved me, you…someone who loved you to the moon and back. Duty takes a new definition altogether when it comes to you and your our family. I was not trying to be God to you all, I wished to be what you wanted me to be. It’s hard to offer something to someone whose glass is already full. Your love and appreciation was the elixir which completed me. There was nothing else; no hidden motive. Maybe that is the reason why you chose to pour it all down the drain. But if you took away everything, why did you not take away my hands which held yours. Why didn’t you blind my eyes which are incapable of seeing anyone but your face? Why didn’t you stop my heart which hopelessly yearns for you even now? I could have taken back all the gifts I gave you, but I will never get the person I was back. Not that I was something great. What I am right now is far better, a much larger than life version of me. I am telling you again, you want to take me out of the equation, please kill me. I will take care of the formalities and will see to it that you are suitably well covered. Not that you are not smart enough to wiggle your way out of it.

I can find someone better, far better than you. But love works in funny ways. Love….never bows down to social barriers, does not care about caste, creed, religion, social strata. Or in our case…age. I don’t care what I get in future for it will never be the same.  

THE PRESENT:

Wow!! I never thought you could one day express your love like this. The moment you chose to open your heart and speak about your feelings – I was amazed at how much you held from me. Now that I am here, I will always be there to listen to you. I always looked up to you and marvelled at the way you are. Tried to imitate you in many things especially the way you managed your responsibilities. The one thing you forgot to take care of – yourself. In the midst of it all you forget yourself all the time. So I will be there to remind you. I live to add more joy to your life, some respite.

Thank you my love for trusting me with your feelings, your joy, your fears and the pain. Yes the pain. I hope I can heal some of it, if not all.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.