Walk alone…

THE PAST:

Dear love

Aap koi sati savitri nahin hain

AAP KOI SATI SAVITRI NAHIN HAIN

AAP KOI SATI SAVITRI NAHIN HAIN

AAP KOI SATI SAVITRI NAHIN HAIN

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.No, No, No, NO, NO, No, No, No, No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, No…Hell No, NO Way, No Way, No way….He did not actually use these words, he can’t actually say this, this is not what he meant, this was not his intention. No matter how many times I try to understand your anger, I will never be able to forgive your cruelty. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried that day, to no avail.  

One word which ends it all…One word which killed my dreams…one word…just one cruel word which deflated my ego; destroyed my self-respect and defiled my dignity forever. One word which tells me why I don’t deserve the happy ending I was looking for. One word which says I am not good enough to think of a future with you. One word to invalidate our achievements; undermine our struggle and the pains we undertake to establish a future. Now I know what to do if an eve teaser approaches me with vile intentions. I have to silently endure what he says and move on. After all, I am not an honourable woman. In the eyes of my love, this is the respect I generated so far. No wonder, I can be looked down upon. No wonder I can be assaulted, no wonder I can be subject to character assassination. No wonder I can be discussed like a Maal over a cup of tea at PunditJi’s Tapri.  No wonder anyone and everyone has now the right to approach me with all sorts of dishonourable intentions, for I am not an honourable woman. I am not like the other girls I compared myself to. I have no right whatsoever to love someone and ask for his admiration in return for I am not an honourable woman.

All the strong, independent, open-minded, confident girls should abide by this understanding that they are expendable. I broke the code and got suitably rewarded (!) for it.

PS: ‘I can do anything for you, you just have to ask.’ It’s a dangerous promise to make gals. No wonder love never lasts. For the one you love will wake up one fine day and say ‘If you can really do anything for me, please allow me to walk away.’

THE PRESENT:

‘Ssshhhhh…Hush…calm down. There is no need to get angry. He was just a mad person, forget him.’ In vain I try to calm you down as you seethe with anger at the random person on the road. All he did was look at me with a little more interest than appropriate. Secretly I am overjoyed at your reaction. I do take pride in the fact that you are willing to go to any lengths for protecting me from the world. I feel safe when I am with you. Even when you are not there, I know you take the pains to ensure that. The CCTV you installed, the lifts to office, the calls when I am out of station to know my whereabouts, talking me to sleep every day when I am away…Being a self-dependent person would never mean I don’t enjoy some chivalry. The little things you do; the little ways you express that you care. All this means a lot to me. Having faith in my abilities to take a stand never stops you from shielding me from trouble. All the ways you express your love and so much more; to let me know you care in the most beautiful way.

PS: It makes me fall in love with you all over again.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.