The Showdown

Dear God

One sleepless night...So much to think and reflect about. A journey of a thousand miles and I wonder how far I have come . God You know I have always been so grateful to you for everything. Even this humiliation I came across today. Why? I have often wondered why is it so difficult for me? It has always been so difficult. I marvel at my strength and a fresh surge of relief engulfs me. I ain't no quitter. 

Sometimes I feel I shouldn't have been like this. But then I wonder how would I feel if I let myself suffer in silence. Or give up on everything and just let myself go with the flow. At times I know you make me face the tides heads on. It's a good thing though.

But then sometimes, my heart just can not take the unfairness of it all. You know that I have always tried to do justice to whatever responsibilities You have entrusted me with. I have had a very blessed life, sheltered and privileged. Thank You

But now I am confused God. I don't know what the right path is...All I know is that I have but one life. If I cannot live it with dignity then maybe I should not exist at all.

The Chauvinist in You - Little things speak big

Dear Men male chauvinistic pigs

Lately I have experienced so much of this hatred directed towards feminism notions. I felt the need to take a stand and sorry, your efforts to scare me through trolling have failed miserably. So here I am to clear the cobwebs in your mind:

The word feminism instills hatred and fear in many. Also smirks, sideways glances and a lot of criticism. Not to mention the ages old notion that 'Ladki padh padh ke pagal ho gyi hai. kitabi duniya mein rehti hai. Sachhai se iska door door tak koi vasta nahin.' Well no, LOUD AND CLEAR NO!! My books and my deep and irreplaceable love for them does not facilitate illusions, it clears them.  For instance, this illusion of ‘A knight in shining armor who will come on a white horse and be my eternal bliss’. My experience in life taught me that to be happy I do not need a man by my side. I need to learn to love and accept myself the way I am and take charge of my mighty steed. And no, it does not mean the men in my life are useless. Fathers, brothers, boyfriends and lovers…they need not be the focal point of your life. You can be happy all by yourself too. Provided you stop letting them be the decision maker in your life. IT IS YOUR LIFE…TAKE CHARGE.

I tried the same when I purchased my dream car. As I told you all earlier, the agency in question distorted my name in so many ways. I am still having a hard time convincing them that I am the sole owner and decision maker regarding it. They feel the need to take approval from my father, my friends and any and every male figure they can find around me. On top of that, a random person whom I do not want to name has the audacity to ask me ‘Jitna tumhari salary nahin utna to is car ka kharcha hai. Kaise manage karti ho?’ My first instinct was to lunge on him with a war cry. Dare he call me by my first name! On top of that, questioning my earning! His blatant disregard led to me blurting out, “I earn enough to support myself and four more as well. Do not worry!!”  What is the problem with people these days? They constantly invade my privacy and most of the time end up stepping on boundaries and my nerves as well. It is high time the society learnt that it is equally rude to ask a woman her earnings or how she can afford something or how she makes ends meet!

Learn it the hard way then, Dear Men male chauvinistic pigs