Relationship Status – Abandoned

THE PAST:

Dear love

So many people in the world die every day, why am I not one of them? I kept all my negative thoughts at bay for so long, always fighting, always smiling. But today for a while I am drowning in self-pity. I hate myself today instead of my usual love and understanding. Once again back to square one. Relationship status – abandoned. Yet again someone has chosen to hurt me in the worst possible way. Inspite of all my strength, it breaks my heart to see him walk away from me. What happened to me, how could I be so dumb? How could I be so blind? There was nothing in it for me. Once again, I offered my all to someone without expecting anything in return. Not even the right to keep giving to him for the rest of my life. Why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I? What is it that I lack? He breaks my heart with his slights all the time and I just cannot resist accepting him again and again. There is so much joy in giving without expecting anything in return. He says ‘Will you be able to live without me?’ The answer to this is a loud and clear ‘No’. No, I cannot live without him. I cannot replace him with some random unknown person. It’s his place; he claimed it by the love he has to offer. But I cannot force him to love me the way I do. By the way, that is impossible. I cannot go anywhere and I cannot ask him to come to me. There is no place for me to go in this whole wide world. No friends, no love, no family, no relationships. No one is with me, absolutely no one. I cannot seek refuge anywhere and no one is going to offer it to me. I don’t have the right to seek someone’s friendship, someone’s love, someone’s special and undivided commitment. I was better when I was a hard nut to crack, I should have remained the same. Wanted to be more human and I totally destroyed myself in the process. Who am I trying to fool? I will never give up on this relationship. It is all I have left in the world. All that hurt me in the past is back with equal pain, same intensity. It all ended with the hopeless knowledge that the love I have in my heart for him is always going to outweigh the distance between us. Also that it will always have to be me who will close this distance and walk the last few steps. Or walk away from him. It will always be me who will support him in totality.

THE PRESENT:

So you finally dared to walk the last few steps. Finally gave me the love I sought, finally my friendship has come back. Finally I can dance with joy and let the whole world know that “You have honored the love we share.” I had complete faith in you my love, I knew you are worthy of my trust. There were days when I was scared and hopeless. But today I am filled with renewed joy and bliss. My journey to you taught me I will always find love when I seek. People will always be with us if I ask them to be. I know now that I have innumerable blessings and I don’t have a clue as to who and when takes a stand for me. I am amazed at the way we have come together. Love works in wonderful ways. To this wonderful day and all the amazing days ahead, I look forward to. The trust you place in me now means the most to me. I love you…

So come to me my love, let’s share this incredible journey.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.