Bad day at work

Dear God

It is a man's world or so they say! When women percolate this world, they have to be prepared to be treated as 'women' rather than individuals or the post they hold. Subjected to rude jokes, frequent challenges to their authority by subordinates and more often than not handling responsibilities well beneath their official positions. No job is considered small.

When you are a woman and you are attending an evening meeting which runs late into the night, be prepared to be asked to leave. Yup! You heard me right, leave. That is considered as a courtesy by the misogynistic society. They believe two things: A) You have nothing worthwhile to contribute. B) You really do not need to be kept updated with the happenings. Wrong on both counts, you will be given funny looks when you refuse to leave and even a little pop eye when you choose to contribute.

Ideas, suggestions, talents and opinions really do not count. What counts is whether you arranged or better still prepared coffee for everyone or not. Or that have you taken good care of ladies present at any or every social occasion. Or that how many times you have spent quality time with the ladies! Mind you they are real important.

Heavens forbid if you are unmarried like me. With personal questions and queries, they will rig you to hell and back. Some will play the role of your PR and advertise you to those ‘eligible’ around you, irrespective of your need for privacy and preference. Worse still, the rumor mill will be working overtime. I to have really enjoyed the celebrity status from quite some time!

Tell you what, God! I ain’t no quitter. I will make them understand the true meaning of gender sensitivity. Game on, Boys!

The weaker sex???

Dear God

Picture this:

'Mam I wish you played sports. Wanted to see you in shorts…'

'Unmarried ladkiyan n jane kyu tours par chali jaati hai. Wo bhi akeli!'

'Tumhe to kuchh kaam rehta nhi hoga. I am sure you can give more time to socializing.'

‘Pata nahin itna sab kuchh kaise hoga? I don’t even know how to do a train reservation…

These are the words of my colleagues, ladies I know and random people I meet in due course of my employment. I was shocked at the blatant sexism and ignorance. The most shocking part of these conversations is these are people I know. The words of people who work with me or under my supervision or else well educated people who have suddenly started lecturing me on the perils of being a working woman. I am shocked to say the least and disgusted at their attitude.

Moreover, I am tired of the damsels in distress I have come across. These are all grown up men who have everything in the world including android phones and social media presence. Yet they are unable to make travel plans, book tickets or order stuff online. All of them need overpaid secretaries who are at their beck and call 24*7.

When a financially independent woman is in a relationship, suddenly the burden of chivalry falls on her shoulders. I have seen them running around making travel plans, organizing surprises and giving lavish gifts to friends and family. They can’t afford to expect anything in return though. I have seen men in their lives saying stuff like:

‘Mere upar to poore ghar ki responsibility hai. I cannot splurge like you.’

‘You really need to save some money. Please work on it. Your financial skills are awful.’

They dare say this to the women who spend no money/ little money on themselves. The need to stay in a 5 star hotel arises from the fact that their companions refuse to accept substandard service and ambiance. The men in their lives want to experience the best of the world but not on their own merit. Yet when she arranges all of it for them they take it with a pinch of salt. They make us feel guilty for falling in love. They call us demanding when we are hardly expecting anything other than their love. Some little TLC costs nothing yet it is a far-fetched dream for women like me. It costs nothing to be nice and yet!!

The worst part is when you confront womanizers. They will fold their hands, make a teary face. Talk like their whole world will crumble if you do not forgive and forget right that second. They start bringing their family in the picture and would repeatedly ask to be reassured. The eyes which bore through your dress would suddenly be lowered. The leery voices laced with disgusting undertones would suddenly be oozing with respect. It all makes me wonder, if they are all that sacred, why make the wrong moves in the first place.

I am so tired of looking for a man who is man enough. Then they dare call us the weaker sex!!

Walk Alone II

Dear God

Sample this:

Tu hai hi isi layak ki 10 log tujhe noche!!

Yuck!! Right? Just because I chose to travel at night suddenly I was the perpetual slut for my family members. With a blatant disregard to my feelings, I was subjected to this acute humiliation only because I dared to travel at night. I was safe, God…You know that. I just wanted to be home in time for my office the next day. That was my only fault. Like the fool that I am, I set forth to pay homage to Maa and pray for the health and safety of my people. This is the thanks I got! Not that I expected anything in return but this humiliation was certainly nowhere in the picture. What is it they hate so much God? Is it the fact that I take my own decisions? Is it the independence or the point blank refusal to be subjected to their idea of a perfect daughter/sister/woman?

And this:

20 juta marenge dimag thikane aa jayega.

I am absolutely determined to stay away from people who fail to respect my dignity. So here I am… It was always him who did the blocking. But now I am ready to welcome him with my silence. My indifference might estrange me to the love of my life, even put some distance. But the peace of mind will definitely be worth it. Always walking one step behind him, I had forgotten my own dignity. But here I am now. Standing up for myself and speaking my mind. Over a considerable period of time, I ignored the jibes at my abilities, kept mum when his misplaced anger hurt me with merciless comments. Also the ruthless declarations that he is going to spend some ‘quality’ time with other women in his wake. Not to forget, his doubts about my integrity, loyalty, love and honesty. My honesty cost me all my relationships so far, so what is one more???

A lot of you may reckon my reaction is overrated. But picture a girl who has been through a lot and wants to be left to her own devices to say the least. I knew the perils of travelling at odd hours but it was a calculated risk as there were others like me as well. But I was the only one whose family member(s) chose to use such derogatory words for her. Also I know the importance of treating someone right. But he should have been there for me in my times of need. I am needy but I am capable too. I welcome the peace of mind which comes with knowing that I am on my own and it is not such a bad thing at all!