Walk Alone II

Dear God

Sample this:

Tu hai hi isi layak ki 10 log tujhe noche!!

Yuck!! Right? Just because I chose to travel at night suddenly I was the perpetual slut for my family members. With a blatant disregard to my feelings, I was subjected to this acute humiliation only because I dared to travel at night. I was safe, God…You know that. I just wanted to be home in time for my office the next day. That was my only fault. Like the fool that I am, I set forth to pay homage to Maa and pray for the health and safety of my people. This is the thanks I got! Not that I expected anything in return but this humiliation was certainly nowhere in the picture. What is it they hate so much God? Is it the fact that I take my own decisions? Is it the independence or the point blank refusal to be subjected to their idea of a perfect daughter/sister/woman?

And this:

20 juta marenge dimag thikane aa jayega.

I am absolutely determined to stay away from people who fail to respect my dignity. So here I am… It was always him who did the blocking. But now I am ready to welcome him with my silence. My indifference might estrange me to the love of my life, even put some distance. But the peace of mind will definitely be worth it. Always walking one step behind him, I had forgotten my own dignity. But here I am now. Standing up for myself and speaking my mind. Over a considerable period of time, I ignored the jibes at my abilities, kept mum when his misplaced anger hurt me with merciless comments. Also the ruthless declarations that he is going to spend some ‘quality’ time with other women in his wake. Not to forget, his doubts about my integrity, loyalty, love and honesty. My honesty cost me all my relationships so far, so what is one more???

A lot of you may reckon my reaction is overrated. But picture a girl who has been through a lot and wants to be left to her own devices to say the least. I knew the perils of travelling at odd hours but it was a calculated risk as there were others like me as well. But I was the only one whose family member(s) chose to use such derogatory words for her. Also I know the importance of treating someone right. But he should have been there for me in my times of need. I am needy but I am capable too. I welcome the peace of mind which comes with knowing that I am on my own and it is not such a bad thing at all!