Thank You
for the new addition in our family and strengthening Nari Shakti. Voila,
it’s a girl!! She is my little niece; to be precise. Also thanks for the much
awaited trip back home.
I held
the little one in my arms and thought about how it changes everything. How can
someone so little have this firm hold around your hands and heart? Suddenly I
started rethinking my life goals and visualizing her in school uniforms, cute
frocks, party wear and what not…all in fast forward.
Yet the
harsh truth is I will not be a part of this. Separated by the miles between us,
we are always going to see her growing in pictures. I miss her already.
Yet on
this visit home, I saw the glimpse of recognition in her eyes. As she held my
finger in her tiny little hands, the connection was unmistakable.
So there
is hope.
Hope!
What a wonderfully elusive word. I see the ‘When’ reflected so clearly in my
folks’ eyes. ‘When or if you will have the same joy, the same sense of completion?’
they want to ask but they dare not. For like me, they are also afraid that the
answer is a loud and clear no. No, I have no such hope of holding a piece of me
in my arms anytime soon. This is the harsh truth and it kills me. But true it
is…
I have been
betrayed by fate so many times that this year I resolved to give up on love
altogether. Not a bad place to be at all. Only thing I miss is being able to
feel that bliss…maternal bliss. I would love to be a mother some day, God. How
do I make this happen without giving up on my life and freedom?
God
knows, Don’t You God?
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