The Subtle Art of Gifting

 Hi Readers 

Sorry for the long pause. Sometimes in life, you can't manage all the things all the while. So you take a breather or a series of breathers in my case and are back with a bang. Life is blessed these days. I have come back to my work like I had never been away and I am happy to report that the work environment now has shown considerable improvement. On the personal front, I forage into the world of literature and am now trying to be a.... ahem ahem published author soon. 

Sample this:

You have some close friends and one of them is having their birthday soon. Now all of your friends come to you and ask “What shall I give!” You are the designated genius of the group so you think hard, explore and give them a few options. That’s when the trouble starts looming. I might be making a mountain out of a molehill yet it bothers me. Not the effort, not the going through the motions of making the booking/purchasing/ planning etc. but the fact that you are supposed to deal with this from end to end.

Lately I have been crazily and hungrily searching for extraordinary gifting ideas. Boy! This market has undergone a radical change. You name it, you have it! 

Well, then came the sly little snake of trouble. My near and dear ones rely heavily on me to find gifts for their birthdays, their special ones' birthdays, and other special occasions. To make matters worse, my own birthday as well. To those who say, 'It’s the thought that counts!' It does but when it comes to what kind of gift was chosen for you or the value of it. 

Once you have taken a few suggestions from your close ones or me for that matter, rest of it should be your own show, I think. The main thrill of gifting is finding something a person wants, not what a person needs. Needs are basic, wants exciting!  

And with so many hints scattered around... my near ones just lean on me to find the perfect gift for.... dhan tanana Me!! Yeah you heard that right. It is my birthday next month and I am supposed to find the perfect gifts for myself... It’s stressing me out. Everyone will once again go through the motions of “Kya chahiye aapko”? Actually a little attention to details from your end would be nice. What makes it worse is “Kuchch pasand aaye to bata dena!”

This half-hearted ‘Buy something for yourself, I will pay’ just does not compare with the thrill of the surprise of finding something waiting for you... something which you neither anticipated nor were looking forward to. Something that just resonated with the receiver! Gone are the days when you had to turn the markets upside down to find something, then pack and send it off. Nowadays mostly ‘a few clicks on the system or your phone’ is all it takes.

A few minutes of your time and the person concerned would be showered with the love you gave them. I have come to a point in my life where moneywise I am comfortable. Although I now never let my guard down and have a kitty maintained for emergencies….Still I enjoy my earnings in a way which was missing earlier. My book collection has grown exponentially and I have collected many beautiful things like handmade diaries in my home.

Even then, if you take the effort of sparing a few minutes for me and find something, it will make me far happier than asking you to get me something of my choice. There are ways of knowing what a person would like or love by simply observing them a little closely. Please do observe and gift them the smile that comes when they find something waiting for them, unexpectedly and surprisingly.

Ciao! 

Unlady-like

Dear God

Picture this:

I was going to park my vehicle and suddenly someone tries to direct you about the ‘how to’ of manoeuvering your vehicle. Or you are in a crowded street and someone narrowly misses your vehicle all the while glaring at you. Now we have two options if it’s a guy he will step down from the vehicle and start a dhishum dhishum right there on the street, a lady will glare at you with daggers in her eyes and move on. Then comes the unladylike yours truly, who will roll down their window; give the person in question some unsavoury words and then move ahead.

God, for women like me you have made certain rules and those rules are meant to be broken. I must haggle with street vendors, deal with repair walas and get my car to the auto centre all on my own.

I handle my finances whichever way I can and regularly dodge financial advices or lucrative schemes. I get a lot of advise regarding how I should or should not do certain things certain way and turn a deaf ear to all. I am constantly being frowned upon by the way I sit, talk, look or behave. I know people want to peak into my private life, but I firmly keep the blinds shut.

And then I get judged!

I am someone who does not know how to depend on someone anymore. I run my household and run it any which way I can. There are days when I don’t feel like getting vegies from the market and rely on maggie for days on end. And there are weeks of healthy eating spree. There are times when I wish I could have someone to plan my trips, pack my bags and take me to the station… and then there are bouts of adulting when I manage all like a pro.

There are times when I feel there should be someone to open the door when I reach home and then sometimes I enjoy the solitude. There are times when I get unwanted attention for simply being there which makes me uncomfortable and then there are times when I enjoy the limelight for the right reasons.

Living alone has its own perks and pains. I welcome both!

Then there are times when I look back on how far I have come and the things I accomplished. I have a little thing about missing the conventional way of life. Yet I feel complete in my own wake.

Then when people call me Not ladki jaisi ladki  I hold my head high, look them in the eye and say:

Right, I’m a tad bit un-lady like and I love myself for that.  

Walk Alone VII

Dear God

One call, one decision, one trip and then this silence from his end. Experience of a lifetime but apprehensions regarding the future. The year started on a very disturbing note when he called and I once again launched a tirade about how we cannot be together anymore. It’s actually exhausting to stay away, then come close and then again having to move away from him. Retreating with my love, care, concern and my ardent desire of being with him.

Of all the people that you could have given me, how come I have this stubborn bu**head? God my stories have never had happy endings and yet I continued believing them. What do I do? How do I contemplate the end? How to cope with always feeling the end is near and yet getting closer than ever before?

O God!!! Sometimes I feel a clean cut would be so much better and I would finally heal. Sometimes I think it is not my fault and I deserve to live whichever way I want. Sometimes my mind revolts at the shear unfairness of it all. Sometimes I doubt if at all he had love in his heart!

Sometimes my heart formulates elaborate schemes to win his love and other times it drowns itself in the depths of depression.

One thing is sure though and always will be. MY life has no place for a half-life and neither for a socially questionable relationship. Whoever has me has to hold my hands and walk besides me publicly.

It took me all I had to take this trip on my own. I almost jumped down from the train or retreated from the airport/ took the return flight to rush back home… And yet here I was.

I got a lot of flake for giving priority to myself instead of being home for some family emergency. But in my defence that the emergency did not happen unless and until I had already booked everything. Moreover, it was dealt already when I planned this.

Meeting Anku was one of the landmarks in my life and the most wonderful way to start my year!

Looking forward to something more soon…

PS: Its hard to think of oneself, loving myself is an uphill task but I am doing well