Unlady-like

Dear God

Picture this:

I was going to park my vehicle and suddenly someone tries to direct you about the ‘how to’ of manoeuvering your vehicle. Or you are in a crowded street and someone narrowly misses your vehicle all the while glaring at you. Now we have two options if it’s a guy he will step down from the vehicle and start a dhishum dhishum right there on the street, a lady will glare at you with daggers in her eyes and move on. Then comes the unladylike yours truly, who will roll down their window; give the person in question some unsavoury words and then move ahead.

God, for women like me you have made certain rules and those rules are meant to be broken. I must haggle with street vendors, deal with repair walas and get my car to the auto centre all on my own.

I handle my finances whichever way I can and regularly dodge financial advices or lucrative schemes. I get a lot of advise regarding how I should or should not do certain things certain way and turn a deaf ear to all. I am constantly being frowned upon by the way I sit, talk, look or behave. I know people want to peak into my private life, but I firmly keep the blinds shut.

And then I get judged!

I am someone who does not know how to depend on someone anymore. I run my household and run it any which way I can. There are days when I don’t feel like getting vegies from the market and rely on maggie for days on end. And there are weeks of healthy eating spree. There are times when I wish I could have someone to plan my trips, pack my bags and take me to the station… and then there are bouts of adulting when I manage all like a pro.

There are times when I feel there should be someone to open the door when I reach home and then sometimes I enjoy the solitude. There are times when I get unwanted attention for simply being there which makes me uncomfortable and then there are times when I enjoy the limelight for the right reasons.

Living alone has its own perks and pains. I welcome both!

Then there are times when I look back on how far I have come and the things I accomplished. I have a little thing about missing the conventional way of life. Yet I feel complete in my own wake.

Then when people call me Not ladki jaisi ladki  I hold my head high, look them in the eye and say:

Right, I’m a tad bit un-lady like and I love myself for that.