Why Me???

Dear God

There is a string of abuses in my inbox. I don’t know what to do with them. Love and respect have taken a backseat in my relationship God and this derogatory and abusive string is what I have left. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t seem to do anything right these days. All I wanted was a person who will love me and accept me as I am. Am I really this kind of person, God? What have I done to be subjected to this kind of torture? Retaliation…I thought so many things I could have done but so far nothing works.

I also thought long and hard about the kind of person I am. Broken, for sure! God, I started so right and I keep wondering where I went wrong along the way? Why did it have to go so horribly wrong? The most heartbreaking thing about this is; I expected it to be different. I don’t know why I expected love and understanding. I am the same person who was being mocked at for trying to secure marital bliss a couple of years back. How could I forget? I have only myself to blame for what happened to me. I was delusional. How could I forget people like me should not be looking for love! Love is for those who know how to cheat, how to manipulate and present their best side till the time they can secure the relationship. Transparency and honesty do take a backseat when it comes to making a choice.

I was right about your world all along. I just have to put theory into practice. When it comes to me, isolation is my best friend. I go out into the world wearing rose tinted glasses and come back to my world with a broken spirit. I hold my head high in front of strangers but it is my own people who bring me down. It is time I quit God, for good! YOU know that I tried.