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Monday, 23 September 2019

Walk Alone IV


Dear God
जिंदगी मौत एक जैसी थी, लम्हा लम्हा मगर जिया हमने
अब जो करना है तुमको करना है, हमसे जो बन पड़ा किया हमने
Separations are difficult, to say the least. This transition is the most difficult one I have ever come across. God, I have travelled far and wide in search of love and I am yet to find it. I have a desire to meet you now, my Maker. But I know my time on your earth is not up yet. I have a really long life ahead of me. I have to go through the motions just like everyone else. God, I am not sure of the path from this moment onwards. I have complete faith in You and with that faith I will take one step at a time. What happened yesterday was unexpected but I know You may have a plan in place for me. I don’t know if my loveless life and overbearing personality was a part of Your plan all along. But I am sure of one thing now. No one knows me in and out. People have made some pretty wild guesses but no one comes close.
God, courage is all I pray for. Courage to accept the challenges You have thrown my way. Courage to be peaceful in times of this turmoil. Courage to face my life alone, unaccompanied. Now people have been jumping with the idea of marriage left, right and centre. You know I lost my faith in that institution a long time back. When I see marriages being fixed like business deals, I simply can’t believe the idea of soulmates being joined in an unbreakable bond. Breach of contract seems more important than breach of faith here. How can a bond so sweet be based on superficial things like money, gifts and background? Personality traits and story of life is still missing from the bio-data in marriages.
Everyone around me looks for a more profitable deal and I am one of the lost causes. Too enlightened, too outspoken, too independent and too overpowering. I promise to You I am not one to wallow in self-pity. Pity is one thing I do not seek. I will continue to be as merciless as possible with me. Trusting with abandon is one of my many vices.
Thank You for this opportunity to flex my strength. Love You God.

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