……..Silence kills

Dear God

The unbelievable news of actor Sushant Singh Rajput’s death hits us like a hurricane. How could he, why did he, lagta nahin tha ki aisa kar sakta hai and all such words just hung in the air. People find it hard to believe that he is gone. They send love, tributes and share stories of his vibrant and positive personality. All this when he is gone.

When a person steps out of their home, it is hard to see the suffering they have been through. People who spent the whole night crying are the ones who laugh the hardest. People going through difficult times are the ones who console lost souls and impart profound wisdom.

Thinking of all those who left untimely… Friends who could not cope with failure in exams or life I miss them all. Still remember the look in her eyes when I had asked “Is anything wrong? Please tell me if it is.” She chose to remain silent and next what came was the news of her untimely demise.

But can we say with surety that they have never tried to reach out for help? I think he would have made countless calls to people who would have picked up the phone and told him things ranging from “I am busy right now, call me back later?” with no follow up call.

“Its ok, happens to everyone once in a while” – generalizing someone’s feelings.

“You are overthinking everything” – By far the worst because it blames you for what you feel.

“Try to pursue hobbies or interests like reading, games, exercise etc. – Depression takes away all your energy and there is no enthusiasm left for anything. So, to actively pursue anything new and failing at it would end up making you feel worse.

At this point when you are depressed, all you want to do is lie low and do nothing. The body simply wants to shut down, mind is too tired to try. Maybe that is what happened.

A few months back when I was going through a difficult time, my sleepless nights included the thoughts of being one of them. Yet all thanks to You, I never contemplated giving up on life. Hopefully, I never will.