Help you…Should I?

 

Dear God

Sample this:

I landed in a professional soup. I need your help…

After all these years of ridicule and questioning my abilities, you asked for my help. The moment you said those words, my impulse was to just rush into my mother mode. I planned how I would go about it. What I needed to do, the words I needed to use. In my mind, I was already thinking of the steps to take… all in my head. Then suddenly my head echoed with your words ‘You will never be good enough like her. She is smarter than you, she thinks of me always. She is my well wisher unlike you. She does not have any hidden agenda like you. She never talks back to me unlike you. She never asks a million questions unlike you. She dresses well unlike you. She is hot unlike you. She is organized unlike you’

During the time when we were together, there was always…always someone who loved you better, who knew you better, who did things better and who understood you better. I was so inadequate, so unworthy of being your partner, so unworthy of publicly acknowledging this relationship. You were so ashamed of me.

…and yet you come running to me and seek my help. Why? What happened to the long line of betters? What happened to all those smart, beautiful, talented, educated and scheming women you knew? What happened to those brilliant people who could judge someone just blatantly and shamelessly without even getting to know her?  

Do you have any idea how much you hurt me with your words and conduct? Do you have any inkling of how much I cried due to your acrid remarks and blatant allegations? Do you have any iota of shame? I think not!

When a man loves a woman, he protects her from the world. Yet you left me to face the world all on my own. Whether it was those nights when I dropped you home late night and drove back to my humble abode. Whether it was all those dates (!) when you randomly cancelled after making me wait for hours altogether. Whether it was making fun of my new outfit or a little weight I put on… every time you made me feel less than better, you lost me a little. You never knew how you killed our relationship little by little.

Now when you seek my help and ask me to be the same old helpful foot mat, I accept all that you said then and say “Please seek someone better to do this for you”

Thank You….