Oh God, Dear God!!
I thought we had mutually decided to part ways or rather I put my foot down
and decided to end this non-committal highly demanding one-sided relationship.
Then why do I get reminded of the wrong kind of memories at the worst possible
times. Now is the time to remember the bad, the worst and the ugly. Instead, I
smile when I think of him. I dig out old photographs, check chats for sweet
nothings and wish more than ever to hear his voice.
WTF!! What is wrong with me? Doing the right thing is so important but I
didn’t know ye kiske liye right hai? I am hurting him God and I am hurting myself
too… Hurling abuses, avoiding calls and meetings is a futile exercise because
my hearts longs for sharing everything with him. He still takes the cake when
it comes to understanding what I am going through. Yet when he tries to
reconnect, I can’t help but be so rude and upfront. It is as if my heart wants
to confront him for every missed chance and every single flaw.
God, is this how U wanted my life to be? Loveless and alone…. I do feel a
little lonely at times. But my best memories have always been from my solitary
times. Solo trips were the best and I always aimed high when I was alone. Yet
this emptiness in my heart where he used to be. God why do people come in
someone’s life when they don’t intend to stay.
Fuck majburi and all!
Going through a professional turmoil was so educational to say the least.
Suddenly my eyes were open to a whole new world who wanted to see me fall. People
around me who criticized, ridiculed and even taunted my efforts to get back up
on my two feet. Suddenly God I saw the ugliest possible world where I was in a
downward spiral.
I put my best foot forward and wait for you to take charge. I know that
this setback as with every other setback in life is temporary. Nothing lasts
forever be it good or bad.
Meanwhile allow me to separate friends from foes even if I stand alone at
the end.
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