Dear God
WTF!!!!
Ye kya tha? Nahin! Seriously Bhagwan ji kya tha ye?
For a person who claims to be an excellent judge of character, how could he
go so wrong? So if I am travelling seated right next to someone, I might be
having some crazy scheme to marry him! Is hisab se to duniya mein jitney bhi
log bus ki seat par kisi ke bagal mei baithe honge unko alert ho jana chahiye. Matchmakers delight…Just let the two people
sit next to each other on a journey…problem solved.
God I am tired of these antiques. Here I was making a genuine effort to try
and get some semblance of stability in my life. But any happy experience in my
life has to come with a cost. There are things in my life which I don’t want to
share with anyone…does that make me a devious person? What do I do to be
finally understood, God?
Yesterday was amazing in many ways but everything just went down the drain
after what he did. It is not his fault though…. The fault is all mine. I forgot
I had no right to think of a life without him in it. Even if he is planning to
get hitched to someone else within the coming months…Inspite of the fact that
he has no plans to give me the dignity I always deserved. I should just soldier
on? Be the Mirabai he always wanted me to be.
I lost everything God and now I have nothing to offer to anyone. Yet he
claws at my very last attempt to have a stable and happy life. He was right,
God. I will never find peace in my life. I am destined to be restless throughout
my life. He said and I quote ‘Tum sukun ke liye tarsogi aur wo tumhei kabhi
nahin milega!’
Nahi milega to n sahi. I will still steer my life in the
right direction. The one thing he fails to understand is that my life is not a
rat race. I will do things but at my own pace and for my own reasons. I don’t want
to rush into anything. If and when I do get hitched, I will make sure I have
all my bearings in place.
Having said that God, there was no need for all this tamasha that
happened. Please allow me to maintain the dignity of my situation and move
forward with the grace I always had in me.
Love You, God. Help me!