Hi God!
This was meant to be a travelogue about a place I had visited recently but
like every happy experience in my life this also comes with a huge price. A
chance outing with some newfound friends and a very long drive. As he hurled
abuses at me in the chat and I kept reading them I struggled to keep my tears
to myself. Tumse kaun shadi karega…tumhare koi ek thodi hai… tum kabhi khush
nahin rahogi…sukun ke liye tarsogi jo kabhi nahin milega… Someday I will print the screenshots of all these
abuses and throw it at his face.
The reason for this? I failed to ask him/ tell him. I asked mum if I could
go and she said yes. But apparently it was not enough as I hadn’t asked him. Not
to mention there was no guarantee if I asked him; he would have said yes. I did
not tell him about the trip and that is true. But that was only because I trusted
my judgement, was going to be absolutely safe. Moreover, I did not want to begin
this long journey against his wish.
As he hurled the usual abuses at me, being in the car with 6 odd people there
was nowhere I could go. Did I really lie, God? Was I hiding something from him?
Am I really the devious, cunning person he accused me I was? Was he really on
his way to my home to ask what he said he was going to ask? Was it true that
what I wanted all along was within my reach and I lost it due to my own selfish
motives? Was it wrong on my part to want to visit a new place?
God You know how I wish he could accompany me all the time wherever I go
but at the same time I take my own decisions and retain my freedom. That much I
will always retain. If I don’t tell him where I am or with whom maybe I don’t need
to.
Sometimes great things are right within our reach and we just don’t seem to
notice. As for Singrauli, it never ceases to surprise me. One such pleasant
surprise was The Son Ghariyal Sanctuary* and Black Buck deer park*. The
experience was once in a lifetime and yet it is blackened by the chat which I
keep to remind me that this is the cost of my happiness.
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