One last time; Every time

THE PAST:

Dear love

रेत पर नाम लिखने से क्या फायदा 

एक लहर आएगी कुछ बचेगा नहीं

तुमने पत्थर का दिल हमको कह तो दिया 

पत्थरों पर लिखोगे मिटेगा नहीं 

I remember when you said this. I thought then I was the sand meant to be taken away. Turns out I get to be the rock in this story. As I walked the last few steps with you, as I shed the last bit of my tears, as I desperately try to hold on to whatever little glimpse I get of you…I am reminded of the day you walked into my life. The very first day you started carving your name on my heart, mind, body and soul. There was a day when I did not know you and today I do not know anyone but you. There was a day when I did not know your name, now that very name is the cause of unlimited joy and unbearable pain. I see your name everywhere. Your wedding cards are scattered all over the place. It’s your name all over the place. Everywhere I go, people are talking of the same. Me…You know I am not going to be there, uninvited. No entry type… You knew me well but you never knew; I loved you to the moon and back. You realized a lot when you were with me, but failed to realize your worth in my eyes. I do not need a ‘Ramu Kaka’ in marriage. No one does for that matter. I wanted a person I looked up to. I wanted a person I deeply respected and admired. I wanted someone I love and cherish. I value your choice but disagree with what you said. I wanted you not for myself, but I wanted to be known by your name. My name would get a new meaning if and when associated with you. I was shocked when you started bringing skeletons out of the closet. I trusted you and you used my trust in the worst possible way. It was not me who broke promises; the other side was not strong enough. Your words lost their power when you shattered my faith in you. Yes, my home is my safest place. That is where I take shelter now. Don’t know why last meeting is so important in life. But I am glad I get to say goodbye.

THE PRESENT:

We smile and take the merciless teasing in our stride as we walk the sacred seven steps together. As papa gave my hand to you in marriage, I admire the two hands which hold mine. Two hands, two generations, two journeys, two promises of unconditional love.  Both the hands hold me firmly and strongly. I marvel at the journey of my life and think of all the times I used to dream of this moment. Yet when it arrived, nothing could prepare me for the enormity and the joy of it all. I belong to you now, as I always did. I used to think when I get married; it would be a simple, no fuss affair. That same person is going overboard now with everything. It’s my way of telling the world I am so happy and overjoyed I found you. You are cheating again in the rings game and I smile as you snatch the ring from my hand. Psst…I told no one I found it first but gave it to you. Everything I have belongs to you now. Then why not the upper hand in marriage! I would love to follow through in your steps. I lower my eyes and steal a look at you. My heart is filled with so much joy. All my dreams have got a new meaning when shared with you. I have already started planning the small little things we will add to our life now. As I embark on this journey with you and look at my beloved home for the last time, I think of the home you built for us all. Thank you for making me a part of your life thank you for making it ours.

Disclaimer: The story I share with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and known as artistic liberty.