THE PAST:
Dear Love
‘Marne ki koi raah nikali nahi jaati
Jeene ke liye koi bahana bhi nahi hai.
Maine hi sikhaya tha use teer chalana
Ab mere siva koi nishana bhi nahi hai’
Back to square one…The days I dreaded the most have just begun. With a
heavy heart, I look at the hoopla around me and feel so lost. I have never felt
so lonely in my life. I was never at a loss all my life. I have never felt the
need to be something to someone. I wonder how and why I started wishing for
that when it comes to you. I don’t understand how you could be the one when I
am not the same for you. Someone else is…Then I think of our last meeting and
smile through my tears. I am not a one man woman. I am supposed to move on in a
flash. I am supposed to rejoice at the fact that I can now try for some other
new experience (!). I can now unblock all the people you used to detest. I can
now get dead drunk…which I never did before. I am a fallen woman. Not a normal Sati
savitri type. Why am I mourning your loss? I should just gather all the
people I was supposed to flirt with and take my pick. I can smoke publicly,
drive rashly, abuse people. I can throw things around, I can wear obscene
clothes. I am not supposed to be decent, love. You said so yourself. Kisi
aur ko trap kar lungi na tum phanse nahi mere jaal me toh!! Then
there seems to be no reason for me to be upset. So many more are ready to take
your place in my life. There is no need to retain the love I have in my heart
for you. I am not capable for the loyalty I feel for you. I am not a one man
woman after all.
You said so yourself…
THE PRESENT:
Gosh! I am so proud of you. The words you said today make me fall in love
with you all over again. You were so right when you said ‘One mistake, one
gesture, one incident cannot be termed as the whole picture.’ A person is so
much more than just what meets the eye. I love the way you choose to find out
for yourself before believing anything and everything blindly. I love the way
you understand that people may make mistakes in life and that is only a part of
learning. I love your courage of taking a stand for what you believe is right.
I love the way you protect me from the prying eyes of the people whose only
business in the world is to meddle in someone else’s affairs. I love the way
you shield me from the prying eyes. I love you for you gave me that security I
sought forever. I am so glad I placed my trust in you. My faith is well
rewarded.
Disclaimer: The story I share
with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly
influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and
known as artistic liberty.
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