THE PAST:
Confused? Disoriented? Mistaken? Misguided? Misled? Mis….The mist of the
MISs is endless my love. The final words you spoke to me hacked through my
self-respect and my sense of self-worth. It will take every ounce of strength I
have in my body and mind to believe in myself once again. It still does!! Every
time someone tries to speak nice words to me or praise me or appreciate me…I
feel like telling them all that I am not worth it. The day I lost you was the
worst day of my life. The part of me which believed in my abilities is
destroyed now. All that I achieved in life was through hard work and
determination. I have come across so many hopeless situations in life and
overcame them successfully. Yet as I try desperately to hold on to all the good
things in my life, I feel like I do not deserve it. I wonder if you had known
your words are going to haunt me throughout my life, would that make you change
your opinion. Was that all real?
All that I read about love and relationships stands false now, unbelievable.
All around me are tales of love that stood the test of time, love that believed
even when the whole world chose to doubt. But my love story negates them all.
The love of my life has rejected the very idea that I am loyal to him. I
thought I was incapable of feeling pain now that I have been through all this,
yet the memory of that fateful, unfortunate day does not let me. I love myself
but I don’t love myself anymore.
THE PRESENT:
‘The universe’s Dharma is to be created, live out its life till it’s
inevitable destruction and then be created once again. We are a downscaled
version of the universe.’
Amish in Oath of The Vayuputras
So my dear mini universe aka me, it’s time to re-create a way of life. It’s
time to make new choice, it’s time to trace back your steps to the very
beginning and take the first step once again. It’s time to rekindle your faith
in your abilities once again. It’s time to remember all the hopeless situations
which you survived in your life and be blessed with the knowledge that you can
overcome this too. No one can make that choice for you love, you hold the power
to do so. Have faith..love yourself…Believe..BELIEVE…BELIEVE.
Please.
Disclaimer: The story I share
with you all today; may or may not be true. For as a writer I am certainly
influenced by what I see around me. At the same time, I retain what I call and
known as artistic liberty.
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